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Custom by Me

September 2013



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Custom by Me

FIC--Didn't Pay Attention, Did You Dad?

Title: Didn't Pay Attention, Did You Dad?
Rating: PG
Words: 786

Prompt given by njmb60

Didn't Pay Attention, Did You Dad?

A scream came from the bathroom and Harry ran up the stairs, frightened of what he might find.

"Lilly? Lily, what's wrong?"

He could hear her crying from the other side of the door and when he tried to open it, found it was locked. He could unlock it with a simple wave of his wand, but Lily was thirteen; she deserved some privacy.

"Lily, it's Dad. Open up."

"Go. Away!" she sobbed.

"Come on, Pumpkin. Tell me what's wrong, please?"


He could hear her rummaging around inside the bathroom, opening drawers and rifling around underneath the sink. She swore.

"Honey, what's going on? I want to help you," he pleaded.

"Go away, Daddy, please! Just leave me alone!"

Harry stepped away from the door and slid down the wall, facing the door. A hand ran through his hair and he sighed heavily.

"Why're you sitting on the floor?"

Harry looked up and found Albus standing in front of him, hands in his pockets.

"Your sister's upset."

Al snorted. "She's always upset, Dad."

"No, I mean something's really wrong with her, Al. She's crying and throwing things around in there," he recounted.

"She got her period or something?"

"What? You didn’t' say what I think you said, did you?"

Could that really be what's going on? Why did this have to happen when Ginny's out covering the new Quidditch league in America? Lily's too young, isn't she?

" Don't you remember anything from school?"

"Um, Al, there was someone called Voldemort I had to worry about. Didn't really pay attention."

Al sat down next to his father on the floor. "You didn't pay attention did you? How did you ever get Mum to fall for you?"

"Why am I getting relationship advice from my fifteen-year-old son?"

"Just curious as to how you could have a female best friend and not notice her…stuff. I just find it odd, that's all."

"And how do you know about this stuff?" It was amazing that someone who looked so much like him could know so much more about women than he did at that age.

"I've got an older brother who gets around." Al shrugged and got off the floor, making his way down the stairs.

"Gets around? What do you mean James 'gets around'?" Harry scrambled to his feet and started toward the stairs but met up with his oldest son's chest. At seventeen, James was already taller than his father.

"What's wrong?" James asked, looking his father up and down.

"You get around? What exactly does that mean?" Harry frowned at his son and crossed his arms.

"Al, you tosser, keep your mouth shut," he said to his brother, standing behind him.

"All I said is that I learned about girls from you and you learned because you got around." Al answered with a smirk.

James rolled his eyes. "I pay attention, that's all."

"Told you, Dad."

"But do you care to explain what 'get around' means?"

"Settle down. It's not as bad as you think it is," James tried to reassure his father. "Tamara and I talk about a lot of things." Tamara was James' girlfriend of two years.

"So what's wrong with Lily?" Harry asked, turning his head back towards the closed bathroom door.

"What's Lil got to do with this?"James looked back toward his brother and back toward Harry. "Where is she?"

"Bathroom. She got her first period," Al said flatly. "Dad never paid attention to girls in school because Voldemort took too much of his time, yet he had a female best friend."


"Just summarizing for him. Bringing him up to speed," Al answered.

"Thanks, son. I appreciate it." Harry rolled his eyes.

"So Lil has her first period? She got any stuff?" James asked him.

"I dunno. Your mum does."

"Won't fit her. She's too small."

"Oh Merlin." Harry felt his cheeks warm and his head began to hurt. In fact, he wished the whole thing would just go away.

"I…I'm gonna leave right now. 'Kay?" Al turned around and shuffled down the stairs, leaving the others standing outside the bathroom door.

"What're you gonna do, Dad?"


"You're her father. Help her out."

"I can't do that!" A stomach ache was churning now.

James shook his head and rapped on the door. "Lily?"

"What?" she shouted. "Go away."

"I can get Tam to bring you some stuff, if you like."

"Oh…okay. Th-thanks."

The door unlocked and cracked open a bit, revealing a teary-eyed Lily. She smiled at James, who ruffled her hair before going downstairs to call Tamara. Once they were alone, Harry walked to the door.

"I know you'd rather have Mum here."

Lily snorted noisily.

"But you can talk to me if you want."

"Da—ad!" she said, horrified. "Just go away."

The door slammed again, leaving Harry alone in the hallway.

"You really don't pay attention at all," Al called from the bottom of the stairs.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I'm sorry, love," Ginny said, holding Harry's head against her chest. "It must have been horrible." She was trying very hard to hold in her laughter, but failed tremendously.

"Shut up, Gin. I was unprepared and my sons know more about this stuff than I do," Harry whined.

"You never did pay attention in school."

"I've heard that a lot lately."
Tags: ,


WONDERFUL I love it my brothers(all 6) were the same way with my dad lol
Guys like Harry never grow out of the clueless stage, even at my age...
LOL. This was wonderful, Deena. Poor Harry (and poor Lily, too). I loved Al in this--he was wonderful, so matter-of-fact about it all, and I love the way he took the micky out of both Harry and James. And I really like how James just dealt with the problem (or got his girlfriend to, which is probably better, at least in Lily's eyes).

On a personal note, I have a huge amount of sympathy for Harry, because I've had to have The TalkTM with my three boys, since my husband has been "conveniently" out of town each time. Is it bad that I'm hoping and praying that something like this happens to him, when our daughter gets older? (I keep telling him that he's going to have to deal with her first period--it's only fair, after I've had to explain how, exactly, a baby gets into the mommy's tummy to an 8-year-old boy who wants more detail than "the man's sperm fertilizes the woman's egg". And that's not even getting into the whole wet dream thing or the "I'd rather you didn't have sex yet, but if you do, you better use protection since I'm not ready to be a grandmother yet" talks with the teenager...)
LOL. Oh that was a great read, as always :D
Lmao! Poor Harry. Ugh, brings back some embarrassing memories.
I love it! I read this prompt, and I liked it the best, even more than mine. I'm so glad you wrote it! Poor Harry. He really is clueless. Lovable, but so clueless.
oh that's great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (are there enough of those yet?). I'm sure glad my mom was home at that point, and that my brother was only 9, didn't have a clue, thank God!
Awww, LOL, poor Lily and poor Harry! I loved Al in this. Great read!
I loved this! He might be the saviour of the wizarding world, but his boys really have him sussed, don't they?

Al was great - I laughed out loud at this little exchange:

"Bathroom. She got her first period," Al said flatly. "Dad never paid attention to girls in school because Voldemort took too much of his time, yet he had a female best friend."


"Just summarizing for him. Bringing him up to speed," Al answered.

And poor Lily! At least Harry didn't just go barging in.
okay - that was bloody brilliant! I'm in a hotel business office trying hard not to snort with laughter (and failing)

you rock!
Poor clueless Harry... adorable story! :)
That's was so awesome.
Harry would always be the clueless person we all love.
Oh poor Harry *hugs* Thank Merlin James is there to the rescue. Al, so cute for taking the mickey out of his dad. I blame Ginny haha for not enlightening Harry of what to expect when you have a teenage daughter. Love your Potter family fic :-)
rofl that was one of the funniest things I have ever read I showed it to my wife she agreed poor Lily
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I replied on your other site but I'll repeat myself here. This was awesomely perfect. I liked that you had James and Al come to Harry's rescue. Poor Harry - clueless, embarrassed, and helpless. You also brought out Harry's naivete about James' love life. And Ginny tried to be sympathetic and not laugh but of course she couldn't. Loved this fic. Did I thank you?
bwahahaha! That was great. I cam completely sympathize with Harry. Though I will say, not all classes teach 'that' about girls to boys, though it may just have been my class. I think my teacher was clueless about it...

I like that Harry didnt know as he had other things to worry about at the time. We joke about it, but I honestly think his social education was severely lacking. He quite possibly really would not know.

Anyway, loved it, made me smile. Great way to wake up.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, that is pretty funny. My cat is looking at me like I am mental laughing at computer. Nice job, poor Harry.
This is absolutely hilarious! Poor Lily. and poor Harry, too, but I feel sorrier for Lily. LOL